My Rather Random Life

Most days I wake up going 100mph. This has a strain on my personal and professional relationships. My wife likes to call it Reverse Sundowners, because I generally get better as the day goes on. Some days, though, this is not the case. Today has been one of those rare cases where I cannot stop my mind, my mouth, or my emotions. It is nearing midnight and I'm ready to set the night sky ablaze and breathe smoke like some weak ass, white boy dragon. I am hoping that venting here will help me shake this shit off tonight. Because on days like this, I tend to lash out at people. Or feel ignored. I take things personally, directly, and without reasonable thought for doing so. This might narcissism or maybe I have some serious fucking trauma, but I care little enough for my physical self that I don't care fully that all of my emotional or psychological needs are met. That is why I scream into the void that is the internet. That is why I vague post. If you think you are happy. truly hap

Here we are again. A few years older and a few years wiser. More experienced and ready to take on the world. Or maybe I am just in a very prolonged manic state. Either way, I am setting my aim higher than ever before with my current endeavor. Which is throwing together a niche magazine with my friends and family. And I am taking back to using this blog space to hone my own writing skills. From my understanding, if you don't use them, you lose them. And I don't deal well with loss.  Which brings me to something that I found recently; the spark of motivation and creativity that was sucked out of me for years by people who took me for granted. Be that fellow writers, old bosses, or internet strangers. I wasted the most formative years of my life entertaining and inspiring people that equally wasted what I gave to them. All the time I spent creating worlds for other people, I forgot to create one for myself. Someday, I may go into length on the reasons why I can no longer write in